INTRODUCTION

Tick tock, the sound from the clock resonated on the four corners of the tiny room. The place, and you, you were a mess. You wanted so bad to clean, you needed to as the clutter was driving you insane, and every single thing was. You knew that you must reorganize and fix everything; however, you ended up sitting on the foot of your bed as you asked yourself the same question that you asked yourself yesterday and the day before, “Where would I start, how would I, and why is there a need to clean up?” As each second passed, the ticking continued, and along with it came more reflective and insightful thoughts.

 

You overslept. You have been woken up by the harmful rays of the sun from your window pane. The sun was proud wherever it shone, it shone as if it was the brightest thing that you’ll ever see, it blazed the most brilliant, and still, you never quite appreciated it because it annoyed you. Aggravated and displeased about its boldness and upon realizing that you overslept, you wasted no time and instead you got up and continued to your daily routine. You took a cold shower to restore your senses, wore presentable and comfortable clothes, ate breakfast and hurried off to your room. You sighed, turned your laptop on; you thought to yourself, it was another stressful day. Every single thing irritated you, you had no idea why or how you were this irate, but you never actually did something to make you understand you.

 

You cried. You bawled your eyes out, repeatedly, for most nights. You felt unessential, unrecognized, unappreciated, unvalued, and unloved. You felt that you were lacking, it felt horrible. Most days, you spent productively, ignoring the night before where you cried yourself to sleep under the pillows, silently pleading for help, silently seeking for comfort. Most days, you would spend your free time on social media trying to keep up with everything with the fear that you’ll miss out if you won’t. Other days were difficult; you were hard on yourself, feeding your insecurity with negative thoughts. Other days were much harder, it was when you had no other options but to fish for validation, appreciation and compliments from others just to make up for the fact that you feel empty. Then one day, you stopped.

 

You stopped. It was another day, but a different one. Something is off, you said. Something was definitely off that day because you have finally realized that you deserved better, and that you deserve to look at life through rosy glasses. It wasn’t easy, of course, that was the catch. You knew, understanding you and yourself is a process. It was a process that you needed to trust, to believe and to have faith in. You never had an assurance; you understood that it was the unspoken rule of finding yourself and knowing who you are and it's okay that’s life, you said.

 

You carried on. At the start, you were like walking on eggshells, if you were you before, you would’ve given up during the first three steps, but the new and refined you with determination and dedication in her heart saw the path of eggshells as a challenge. It didn’t discourage you nor made you think less of yourself, it made you a fighter. The path to finding yourself, that was your silver lining. It was the start of something new, you said.

You climbed. Climbing a mountain is a challenge, just like how it is a challenge to find ourselves, the deeper sense of who we are, our strengths and weaknesses, how we respond, socialize, love and basically everything we do.  There is no such thing as an easy way in the pursuit of discovering who you are, like a vast area extending throughout the horizon, you won’t know which way to go, where to start and how to, but you can, you will and you did. As you were finding your way, you drowned once, and guess what happened?

You were drowning, you saved yourself. No one else could’ve saved you but yourself, and you did. It made you feel complete, it made you feel you. It wasn’t a fleeting feeling; it was a different kind of satisfaction and happiness. You cried and you stopped, you carried on and climbed, and when you drowned, you saved yourself.

At some point in our lives, we may feel internally unbalanced where we cannot seem to hold on to the truest sense of ourselves. In order to mould one’s holistic wellness, living an integrated life is indeed necessary for one’s thriving existence. Various aspects must be utilized in order to integrate oneself, with this in mind, here are some strategies and tips that may help you in your journey towards integrating the self.